and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
