I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
