I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
