the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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