my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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