i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
