She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
3pm strippers are depressing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
