JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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