I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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