My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize