your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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