I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
