mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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