You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
