WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want nice things and good sex
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
