I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
