She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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