He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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