Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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