This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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