Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
