At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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