Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
