I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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