I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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