Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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