He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My Sexting was not on an AP level
jump out the window naked night went bad
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