Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
