you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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