my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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