I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
