So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was like eating out sand paper
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
