no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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