just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
