At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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