Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize