I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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