I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I party with great urgency now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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