dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
