i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
