How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
