it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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