Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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