she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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