I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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