I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
As shirtless as possible
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
