Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
