Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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