literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
