Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am one with the molecules
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
