so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
