she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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