We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay