Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We're too hungover to prance.