You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.