I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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