Umm I'm too high to move.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
