Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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