Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
