If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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