GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think people are normalizing furries
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize