if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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