she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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